Tipping the Scale: Kelly Clarkson

Posted: March 16, 2009 in Ed-G Tales
Tags:

tip the scales:

1. to make something more or less likely to happen, or to make someone more or less likely to succeed 
2. to weigh a certain amount

Our obsession with the escalating size of Kelly Clarkson’s thighs and ass has overshadowed the release of her outstanding album – at least among my circle of honest and awesome friends who call it like they see it.

Could this be the start of a huge Jenny Craig endorsement deal she’s got planned?  Maybe it’s a health issue?  Is it new birth control?  Is it stress?  Fried pickles?

The issue is not gonna rest.  Jessica Simpson must be relieved.  And even though we can’t stop dissing the weight gain, she’s a bonafide popstar and she’s got legions of fans in full support.  Below, a look through the ups and downs (literally), as sent to me by a die-hard fan.

We got your back, Kelly – no matter how big or small it may get.

kelly

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Comments
  1. JayVee says:

    Based off your original assumption last night, I was able to come up with the answer to the weight gain. Birth Control, which then makes her anxious, so she needs to smoke up to calm down, but then gets the munchies, so she visits Southern Hospitality for fried pickles (<– when not in NYC, she has them overnighted). Just saying, not much comes between a Texan and fried pickles — except maybe disco fries, am I right?

  2. theedgitator says:

    Yes. Yes. And yes. It’s like a domino effect. Add it all up, and it all makes sense. And if we could do it, fried pickles would be breakfast, lunch, and dinner for any Texan. Mmmm, disco fries.

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